Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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