brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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