so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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