I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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