I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
