But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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