I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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