I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Tornado booty call.. dedication
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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