if only i could text you this smell
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize