sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
