Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
