He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He did a backflip because drugs
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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