I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize