He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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