I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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