I faked an abortion last night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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