College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize