O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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