So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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