not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
