I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
