I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
