How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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