I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
as a side note pls kill me
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