She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
