i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
