I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I need water and some morals
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
