Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize