I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
