hotel room ftw
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize