are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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