Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
