I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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