I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
