So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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