If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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