the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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