I love black thongs
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
