my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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