Got a toothbrush?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
