Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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