How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
