Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
