he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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