but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
