he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
