Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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