I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up under a house in Key West
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