the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
