Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
