dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
