Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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