I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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