Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
