You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
