I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
