I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
