9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
