oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
