I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
