I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
