I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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