I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
