question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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