If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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